When I last updated this blog I was all excited and happy – training was going well, I felt like I was finally making some progress and all was good with me and my world. Very little has happened since … except that training kind of fell off a bit. A few of you commented that I was already training kind of long hours this far away from my target race – and that threw me into a bit of a tailspin. I know a lot of people – probably more serious ironman competitors, to be fair – who are putting at least 10 hours a week in already and whose distances covered are demoralisingly long. But I get what you were trying to say – it’s kind of hard to keep that kind of focus and intention for a long time. To be fair, some of the training time I was putting in were workouts with my clients. My clients are strong and fast, and workouts with them are workouts for me. However, they are, in most cases, not focused Ironman workouts. Overall, my specific Ironman training load is not so heavy. And in the past weeks, it has not been heavy at all… Usually I’m great about keeping up marathon training in the holidays. This year? I took my eye off the ball. I overcommitted myself socially in a way only I seem able to manage. In general, I veer between behaving like a hermit and wanting to be the life of the party – I spent a little too much time on the far side of that equation this holiday. I did not treat training like my job, and, of course, it promptly fell off the end of the list. However, it is what it is and here I am on January 1st filled with determination that between now and July training is my job. The job that needs to be done first, importantly.
Which leads me into what I’m going to share with you today. Instead of telling you about my new year’s resolutions, I am going to share the things that I know are true but which I seem to choose to sometimes forget about and pretend I don’t know are true. This year, I’m going to try to acknowledge these truths and not waste endless time and much emotional energy rediscovering these truths every time. And feeling like an idiot when I do.
- I am a morning person. I need to train first thing in the morning. This works best for me, for my family and with my job. So no procrastination – those of you who see me on FB first thing in the morning feel free to ask me if I’m procrastinating and need to get on my bike / out on the run / into the pool.
- Comparing myself to others is stupid and a complete and utter waste of time. I know this. I really know it. But I still waste endless time feeling incompetent comparing myself to faster, better, better-looking, more disciplined others. (not just when it comes to triathlon or running but in all aspects of life). That just has to stop. Any tips?
- I need to write about stuff. Writing about stuff, whether here about my training or in my journal about life in general, helps me find more direction in my life, helps me to think about how I’m living my life and to ensure that it’s in line with my bigger goals. When I don’t blog or write in my journal, I become very reactive. I’ll do my training, but without considering why and often not pushing myself hard enough. In life, I find myself caught up in endless errands and paperwork, with no clear prioritities. In both aspects of my life I then make little progress and get even more frustrated. 5 minutes a day of figuring out what I’m intending to achieve that day, as an athlete and as a mother, wife, friend and trainer makes life feel so much more focused.
And my final word is this – I am slowly, slowly beginning to realise just how much I am able to affect my mood and overall wellbeing myself. How much difference a change in attitude can make. And so that is my resolution for 2014 – to remember that, when the crap hits the fan (which it inevitably does, for all of us) I always, always, can change my attitude. Let’s see how that goes!