It was bound to happen.. Let’s rewind. Ever since my daughter was 1, I’ve worked on and off on various studies and freelance projects. Sometimes I did no work for a while, sometimes I had a lot of work on. When I was offered a “proper” job this November – still freelance but in an office, with office hours, I was initially very reluctant to give up what I had. However, I started and found I really enjoyed what I was doing. In the course of the 2 and a half months that I have been in this job I have learned more about my remit and my abilities. In the past few weeks, however, I have begun to feel very overextended. You know when your to-do list is so long that you just can’t see how you’re ever going to get to the bottom of it? And so much of it needs dealing with “straight away”? So, I’ve been letting work creep into home life, I’ve been working Fridays (which was not part of my original arrangement) to just stay on top. Not great but hopefully temporary. All these years out of an office, however, and I had forgotten something. Politics. Office politics. I forgot about office politics until I stepped right in the middle of a big smelly issue. And of course, I didn’t realise what was happening until it was too late. I did not have a good day in the office yesterday. I am not proud of it but I felt so awful, so hurt, so upset by it all that I closed my blind, closed my door and cried. I then rang my husband. He was wonderful. His support and love for me is 100% and, times like yesterday remind me how wonderful this best friend of mine in life is. And he told me to get my tears out and then to get tough. And I did. No-one else saw me cry – in the sad world of office politics, that would have been a strike against me – and then I took action. And then I went and picked my children up from school (and for once the tiredness and bickering was wonderful – at least it was out there) and then I went home and ran a long run. 12 miles. I was intending to do 15 but I ran the last hour or so in the dark and tripped twice at the end (it gets very dark on the farm and my headlight has a small beam) and I decided it was enough for the day.
I ran and I ran. I got all my tears out and then all my anger out. I was reminded of how powerful the feeling of being wronged is and to show more understanding to my children when they feel it. I ranted, I raved and then I settled into my run. 5M of podrunner and then I settled into podcasts – Steve Runner, Nik and Dan, the other runner, Dr Monte – and got calm. By the time I came back in I was ready for my friday night and my weekend. No work today, or tomorrow. It can all wait till Monday.
My knee… however. While it was fine on my run – I felt it but nothing bad, and all last week I distinctly felt an improvement – it’s sore today. I was going to head out for 7 but I think I’m going to listen to my doctor (for once) and give it a rest today. See where I am tomorrow. Where that leaves me I’m not quite sure. I am meant to be doing 17 by the end of this week – we shall see. I think I will see if I can fit in a visit to my osteopath this week..
Run long my friends, and strong, and see you in Chicago this October?